Ends and Beginnings

Times filled with Sorrow and Anticipation

They are my favorite things

I am 12 years old and I am leaving my home

I am leaving my friends, my school

and moving to New York City

But as I leave, I am also leaving behind

the rich smell of food from my grandmother’s kitchen

the arms of my grandfather during my times of sorrow and times of laughter

the neighborhood women who sit and talk and sit and talk during lazy afternoons

the lessons of my Sunday school teachers.

I have arrived and I am ready to begin

Excited about my first day of school

But then disappointed when I find myself alone

Tomorrow will be better

Girls ask about my family and where I am from

I hide

They ask about what I am eating that smells so weird

I hide

Hours spent trying to lose my rhythmic accent–

the one that mimics the waves near the shores

where I walked with my mother

I succeed

at speaking like everyone else

at dressing like everyone else

at acting like everyone else

But I don’t feel like anyone else.

Now, when I put my daughter to bed

or when we make dinner together

or when I hug her during her times of sorrow and times of laughter

or when we sit and talk and sit and talk

I tell her about the girl who left, arrived and got lost

and then found herself again.  

by Reggina Kailan


2 thoughts on ““Again”

    • Thank you. As I’ve gotten older, I have become comfortable with who I am and I enjoy talking about my childhood memories in South America, especially with my children. So yes, I do feel like I am living my true life. In many ways, I am able to recapture–with my family–some of what I experienced when I was young. My main goal, though, is to help my children (and students) develop their identities and and sense of pride in who they are. I never what them to question whether they belong.
      Again, thanks for your comment and question.

      Liked by 1 person

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